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Casting Number - Letters and numbers used to identify all parts of a Hot Wheels car. The casting is the car itself. Treasure Hunt - Highly Sought after cars with lower production numbers hidden in the yearly releases. Tampos - Graphics that are applied to a car, usually in a silk screen process. Newer processes involve digital printing. Card/Blister - The Packaging the car is sold in/on. Real Riders - Rubber tires found on Supers and Premium line cars. Spectraflame - Mattelic finsh paint used on the original 60s-70s era cars and newer special releases. Redline - Cars manufactured in the frist decade of HW production. They are highly collectible. Blackwall - AKA Basic Wheel. Cars made in the late 70s to 80s have a distinctive black tire. Newer models have a concave version to protect the chrome finish.
What is a treasure hunt/super treasure hunt? Special cars hidden in the mainline that are highly collectible. Regular hunts are limited production (Mattel does not report actual numbers) and are identified with a flame logo. Super Treasure Hunts are variations of mainline cars with Real Rider Tires (rubber) and Spectraflame paint. They are highly sought after and have a TH logo. More info can be found here: http://www.hwtreasure.com/ I found an old car; what is it worth? Odds are, not much. Most of the more valuable cars are from the original lines (1968-late 70s) that are called Red lines. Many cars made in the 90s to now have nominal value. There are outliers however. Checking your car on ebay Sold listings may give you a good idea of its value. My car says 1988 on the bottom but it seems new. Is it that old? The date on the bottom if the car is the copyright date of the original casting, not necessarily when it was actually made. Should I buy as an investment? Unless you're buying older, already high priced cars, probably not. Again, most cars will stay around the original $1 in value, even on card. What should I collect? Whatever you like! There is no 'wrong' car to buy. Be it Hot Wheels, MatchBox, or any of the other brands its up to you. Sometimes folks start out and buy EVERYTHING. It is a good idea to pick a focus if you're starting out: Muscle cars, Yellow cars, Cars made in Britain, etc... just so you don't get away from yourself! Should I open my cars? It's personal preference. As of the late 2000s Mattel began showing more art on the blister cards so folks liked to display them in package. Others love to open and play with them (they are toys after all!). End of the day, its up to you. Worst case, you can always get two! I just inherited 200+ cars. How can/should I sell them? Older cars (redline era) can generally be sold with ease as they are highly collectible. Larger lots of new cars should probably be sold as a group. While you can list every car you have, it can take time. Shipping is also a concern as you would be spending a lot on postage. Its a time vs. money question: If you have the time smaller groups. Want a cash now? Sell as a lot. eBay is the most popular option for online sales. You can also get a booth at a flea-market or show and sell there. What is Kday? K-Day is a semi-yearly event held at K-Mart stores where collectors can open new Hot Wheel cases and look for cars. More info can be found here.
Where to find cars:
Hot Wheel cars, and other brands, can be found in a variety of places. Popular Big-Box stores are the go-to, but there are many other places, many not listed here, that carry the Blue Brand and others.
WalMart - locate!: Has special sets a few times a year. Very hard to get a Thunt as many are open 24 hours and people pallet raid (open boxes before stock and pull the good stuff).
Target - locate!: Has at least one special line (i.e. Car Culture, Entertainment).
KMart - locate!: Has some excluse colors and has a K-Day (info above). Store locations are closing all the time however.
Fry's Electronics - locate!: Stocks more around holidays. Limited locations around the US.
Meijer - locate!: Very good selection although store may not be in your area (limited to Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Kentucky).
Kroger - locate!: Has some exclusives just to Kroger for Halloween. Also limited locations like Michigan and Texas.
Pep Boys - locate!: Auto parts store, bigger stores carry some auto themed toys and die cast.
AutoZone - locate!: Auto parts store. Generally found by the registers.
Books-A-Million (BAM) - locate!: Book Store chain typically in the eastern US.
Pharmacy/Convience: stores like WalGreens locate! (currently carrying older CC and retro lines as well as new 50th series) CVS, RiteAid, DUANEreade also carry cars. Generally run over $1.50 for mainlines and higher for premium models.
General Grocery stores: Depending when you live your local chain may have them in the toy aisle or in a display somewhere in the store. Be sure to check end caps and near children oriented foods (Cereal aisle for example).
Brickseek stock Checker:
If you're looking to save some time on checking WalMart or Target, I suggest using BrickSeeks inventory checker. You can put in the Target or WalMart ID's and it should return results on inventory. The examples below are for the Car Culture line. UPCs can be found on the back of the blister. SKU and DPCI are generally found on the shelving price information in store and/or online. Walmart SKU: 805984709 Target DPCI: 087-07-5547 UPC: 887961619805 FYIs
WalMarts inventory is sometimes sketchy stock may not be correct.
Targets checker does NOT show individual cars. they could have 20 of one car for all the checker knows.
These checkers do not account for lost or stolen stock. If its stolen they wont know to adjust numbers as the checkers work with the stores internal database.
Info on non-HW chase/Thunts M2:EXAMPLE M2 Chases have yellow paint where you would expect to see chrome and/or gold additions/variations. They also make "raw version" which are unpainted. GreenLight:EXAMPLE GreenLights chase cars have Green Tires and rims and are called "green machines" Auto World:EXAMPLES AW's chase cars are called "UltraRed" and have a popping red paint job. Johnny Lighting:EXAMPLE JL has a great write up on thier site:
WHITE LIGHTNING CARS What is a White Lightning car? The White Lightning variation is Johnny Lightning’s chase car, a concept introduced to the die-cast market by Playing Mantis owner Tom Lowe in 1994. Most Johnny Lightning cars will have a version featuring some special traits that distinguish it from the regular release. These cars are randomly packed into the shipping cartons at the factory. Usually the special traits are white and usually the car will have a combination of two. Here’s a list of common White Lightning features: White Body / Pearl White / Body Metallic / Gold Body / White Chassis / White Tires / White Rims / Gold Rims / White Interior / Tinted Glass It’s important to note, however, that some cars only get one distinguishing trait and in the past some have received as many as three.
It's worth noting MatchBox does NOT have Thunt/Chase cars, at least as of now.
Tesco is a British (UK) chain supermarket that operates in Ireland also - so the Irish site is https://www.tesco.ie/ while the UK site is https://www.tesco.com/ Smyths Toys - are an Irish family owned chain of toy stores that also have branches in the UK. There is a single website for the UK and Ireland with currency options for Euros or GBP. Smyths are also going to expand into Germany, Austria and Switzerland by taking over the Toys'r'Us stores in those countries. https://www.smythstoys.com/ Dealz - a UK owned chain that operates as Poundland in the UK, but obviously because we use Eurodollars rather than Brexit beer tokens, the name wouldn't make sense here, so it's called Dealz. A wonderland of random pointless tat, sporadic batches of Hot Wheels/Matchbox and junk food. http://www.dealz.ie/ Marks Models - a small chain of stores (it's a small country), that specializes in all aspects of modelling - kits, trainsets, paint etc. One store in Dublin City, one outside Dublin in Greenogue and one in Cork city. Like I mentioned, they don't regularly stock hot wheels but do get batches of new old stock so sometimes you find great stuff from the 90s to mid 2000s http://www.marksmodels.com/ Toymaster - this one's a strange one, because it's an association of toy stores not a chain. Shops use the same Toymaster branding and combined buying power to compete with chains/supermarkets but each shop is independently owned, so there's no consistency in what each store stocks. Halfords - a UK owned chain of car and bicycle accessory stores that stocks Hot Wheels but only for part of the year, usually singles in Spring/Summer and multipacks in the lead up to Christmas, but even in the spring/summer period, stock varies wildly from a bonanza to zero stock. http://www.halfords.ie/ is the Irish site, while the UK site is http://www.halfords.com/
If there is something of interest you think should be included please let me know!
Yes Crow is basically a rip-off of Aiden from Watch_Dogs.(my excuse is I thought it would be a good operator idea) Attacker: Crow Operator Name- Dylan Callahan Nickname- Crow DATE OF BIRTH- May 2nd, 1974 PLACE OF BIRTH- Belfast, Ireland HEIGHT- 1.73M WEIGHT- 72KG Unit- ARW Speed- 2 Armor-2 Primary Weapons- Steyr AUG A3, HK416 (possibly already suppressed), Franchi SPAS-12 Secondary- SIG Sauer P226 Gadget Name- Multitool (name might change) Gadget- Has the ability to temporarily disable defenders placed electronics such as Mute’s Jammer, Jager’s ADSs, and other electronics excluding Bandits’ Shock Wire and Lesions’ Gu Mines. Callahan can also hack cameras, thrown nitro cells (possibly), and make a defenders phone vibrate. Everything Callahan can hack must be in his line of sight either by drone, hacked camera, or by foot. (3-5 charges for hacking (and can regain 1-2 charges when hacking a defender’s dropped phone this excludes cameras?)) (New: the hack lasts 4-5 seconds) Secondary Gadgets- Breaching Charge, Flashbang (Frag Grenade, Smoke?) Defender: Arkham Operator Name- Aislin O'Connell Nickname- Arkham DATE OF BIRTH- August 20th, 1988 PLACE OF BIRTH- Cork, Ireland HEIGHT- 1.67M WEIGHT- 59KG Unit- ARW Speed- 2 or 3 Armor- 2 or 1 Primary Weapons- MP5 (possibly already suppressed), Franchi SPAS-12 Secondary- SIG Sauer P226 Gadget Name- Eye of Insanity Gadget- Arkham can set traps that once tripped can make the operator “go mad”. Once an operator has tripped the operator hears footsteps, barricades breaking, occasionally sees something out of the corner of their eye (possibly), bullet impacts, and the operators breathes heavily giving away their position. (lasts 30 seconds) (Arkham gets 3 traps) Secondary Gadgets- Barbed Wire, Nitro Cell Alternatively they could be from the SASR to have more unique weapons. Primary Weapons Attacker- Thales F90 or M4A1 Carbine/M4A5, HK 417 Primary Weapons Defender- M18 CQBR (couldn’t find any shotguns they use) Secondary Weapons- Glock 19 or USP
I felt the heat most on the bridge of my nose and on the fat pockets under my eyes. Even through the windshield of the van, the sunlight made me squint and turned the top of my hair as molten as its color. Knowing I wouldn’t need the gas for later, I turned the air conditioner on full. Then I waited. No one tried to stop me. Cormac had been around so long he was forecasted like the weather, and he was due within an hour. To pass the time I listened to a CD of my old stand-up routine. The one I’d done right before everyone decided I wasn’t funny. Halfway through a hackneyed routine about how office life sucked, I saw Cormac crest a hill. He was just big enough to see and my stomach twisted. If I stared hard, I could tell he was blue. I gripped the steering wheel. The voice of a younger and oblivious me droned from the speakers. I could still turn around and call the whole thing off. No one knew I was out here… because no one cared. The thought of that got me out of the car more than anything else. Do or die, schedule be damned. I walked toward Cormac. Slow like honey poured out of the wide-lipped mouth of a mason jar, that was Cormac. Inevitable as the grind of tectonic plates, that was Cormac too. Cold and terrifying as the meaningless black between the stars, that was Cormac most of all. As we were in the middle of the desert, there was nobody else around. I’d planned it that way so there wouldn’t be any distractions. Cormac still drew onlookers, but not here. There were no roads anywhere near and no one without a GPS would have been able to navigate. Cormac was on his way to Los Angeles, to tear it into little bits. Everyone knew that’s where he was going because Cormac only ever walked in a straight line. Until he was done with a place and started new. Sooner than I would have liked, I was in front of him. The blue, almost granite-like, hue of his body made him seem part of a heat haze. Like a mirage, except he had destroyed the Three Gorges dam in the course of an afternoon, busted every Power Plant in the state of New York, and broken who knew how many monuments. I held my finger an inch from Cormac’s face, and stared him in the eye. Or what I thought was his eye. Cormac was humanoid, but no one really had any fucking idea what he was made of or where he came from. “I’m not touching you.” I said. I held my finger there a while longer, and took a step back. Cormac’s expression, or what passed for his expression had not changed. I swallowed hard and held my finger steady. “I’m not touching you.” I repeated, careful that I shouldn’t slip and actually make contact. My heart hammered so hard I could feel it there at the end of my fingertip. Pounding as if to burst the skin and smear Cormac with its hidden red essence. Christ, I had stage fright. “I’m not touching you!” I screamed so loud it echoed off the mesas. The day after my dad died I got a gym membership. I told the instructor I wanted to be a runner. He didn’t say much about it, since I figured a lot of people must have been compelled to work under the same regimen with Cormac around. Not that it meant much, as you’d have to be a turtle for him to catch you. It was a psychological thing. I’d spent a year training. I had been a string bean when I started, but now I was a string bean with muscles, sinews and fibers. I looked like a fast string bean. I wore shorts with a long sleeve running shirt. My hat shaded my red hair from the sun. “Why’d the chicken cross the road, Cormac?” I taunted. I was dancing around him, with my finger held a few inches away. I was careful not to touch him as that would mean death. Whatever Cormac was made from, it killed humans in milliseconds. “It wanted to cluck your mother. Ha ha, get it Cormac? It wanted to cluck your mother?” Someone smart had once tried to knock Cormac into orbit. They’d been the first person to realize that Cormac was indestructible. Working from that, they’d realized it didn’t matter how strong or indestructible he was, he still had finite mass. After they’d figured out how to strap a rocket to him faster than he could take it off, they’d launched him. The corks were barely out of the champagne before he reappeared, right in the exact spot he had been, and resumed walking. They’d figured it had cost him about thirty seconds. “Cormac! Did you fart? Whoo boy, I can smell it all the way over here.” I farted again for good measure. There were a lot of beans at my camp sites. No one had ever figured out how he did the reappearance trick. That was still back when we thought there was a way of getting rid of Cormac. Back before the world had gone into damage control. They tried a couple of more times, then they figured he had to have some kind of massless drive. No one knew why he didn’t use it at ground level. Probably couldn’t. “Cormac, would you rather be kicked once in the junk or punched twice in the face?” I ran in front of him and bent over, grabbing my ankles and let a big one rip. “Fine! Before you have to ask they’ll all be at equal strength and the foot isn’t sharp. Just a regular sneaker.” I put my hands over my face so that it looked like I was wearing pair of glasses, and then stuck out my tongue. They’d tried a neutron bomb first, once he was away from population centers. There was plenty of time to evacuate, and there wasn’t much confusion as to where he might be going. After that hadn’t worked they’d tried a hydrogen bomb, just to see if it would make any difference. It hadn’t. We’d exhausted gun fire, explosives, and all other conventional warheads long before that point. It didn’t even slow him down. One mile per hour. No faster no slower. I saw the moon had risen and realized I’d stayed too long. I’d been too excited. I’d been too busy testing for a reaction. If I was going to keep it up I had to stick to the schedule. Keep to the plan. I had to endure. I had to be as regular and inevitable as Cormac himself. “I’ve got to go for the night, ol’ buddy. Your mother called and said she needs a good fucking. Guess your daddy turned gay or something. Oh, and by the way, I’m still not touching you.” After I jogged to my first camp, I took a long drink. I also took out both of my alarm clocks. One was solar powered, the other on a battery that was guaranteed for three years. I suppose I could have gotten another alarm clock, with another battery, but that seemed too redundant. I knew how this was going to end anyway, and as long as I got to the fifth camp I would live to see the endgame. I took out my alarm clocks and set them to wake me up in eight hours, and slept. Cormac would be one half-mile away when I woke up. I intended that he watch me wake up every morning. Always out of reach. I’d gotten the idea from stuff I’d read in history about some Arab guy that had led an army through the desert by following a trail of oases. The rest of it, the part of it that didn’t involve any fighting, well, that’d been all me as far as I could tell. Taking advantage of Cormac’s clockwork regularity and a GPS tracker, I’d laid out ten fully stocked base camps through the desert wilderness. I had unloaded them one at a time from my van until I’d eventually reached Cormac. Once on the move, as long as I did a brisk hour and a half jog toward dusk, I could be at a camp every night and rise to meet Cormac every morning. My actual mission was complicated. It had occurred to me, some time long before I had resolved to do it, that where weapons failed I might succeed. Perhaps because of my failures as a comedian, I had begun to wonder if the indestructible Cormac might be heckled to death. I broke camp early in the morning. The sun hadn’t even risen, the alarm clocks hadn’t even gone off, but I was eager and jogged to Cormac. If I really looked at him, I could see a sort of pale blue glow coming out of the crystalline cracks of what I assumed was his skin. “Sorry I’m late, buddy. Your mom wouldn’t let me pull out until a little bit ago. Then I had to wipe all the shit off my dick. Next time you talk to her, tell that bitch to stop eating corn. I got a kernel stuck in my foreskin.” I gave an exaggerated yawn. Cormac kept walking. “It ever bother you that no one comes out to see you anymore?” There had been some cults once that had worshiped Cormac. Most of them went away after the inevitable happened. Never-sleeping Cormac would get a hold of someone and murder them with slow, absent-minded efficiency. Only one person had ever survived contact with Cormac. Dumb kid had fallen asleep in her car waiting for Cormac to show up, like he was fucking Santa Claus. She’d been wearing very thick clothes, which was what saved her from his initial touch. After realizing with horror that Cormac had gotten a grip on her wrist while she was asleep, she’d cut off her own hand. “I know your mom’s better company than you, but still. I knew a guy with some retard pedophile for a brother. He still took a trip up to the loony bin every year at Christmas to see him. Oh but look at me talk, you’ll be wanting to kill yourself if I keep it up.” Cormac’s head pointed dead ahead. I walked over to the side of the highway and grabbed fistful of pebbles. I threw them one at a time, and bounced them off Cormac’s face. He didn’t so much as turn in my direction. “Would you say you look more like a Vegas attraction reject, or more like a stain glass window made by someone with palsy? ‘Cause I just think you look like a dick.” I bounced a rock right off of Cormac’s eye. “What’s the first thing you’re going to break when you get out to LA? Too many fake tits there, for my money. Not that I’m saying they’re all bad. I mean, your mom’s got some great hooters. I could suck on those puppies all night. But if you took out a few plastic surgery centers that would probably be a big help.” I grabbed a stick, walked round behind Cormac, and held it against what I figured was his butt-hole. Except that Cormac didn’t shit. Or eat. Or sleep. “I don’t know if you know this, seeing as how you can’t speak or whatever, but you’re the reason there’s no nuclear power anymore. You got too close that time in New York. Almost had a meltdown. How many guy’s was it that died carrying all the hot stuff out? Fifty? “They have to figure out how to take dams apart when you’re around too. Millions of people displaced by that. Some of those green wackos think you’re the best thing for the environment we’ve ever had. Me? I just know you’re a guy who loves having a stick in his ass so much that he won’t say a word to have it taken out.” I took the stick and walked to the front of Cormac and held it where his nose might have been. “You should take a whiff of this Cormac. God awful stuff. It’s probably what your father’s shit smells like after a night of gang bangs. Tell me Cormac, how is it possible for one man to love taking cock that much?” I turned and threw the stick far ahead. “Fetch!” Cormac kept walking, unperturbed. “Ah, fuck it. We’ll get there eventually.” I didn’t give a shit if Cormac was impervious to attack. There was no such thing as perfect self-esteem. “If I tell you a secret, promise you won’t tell anyone else?” I had taken to standing in front of Cormac long enough for him to reach toward me, before stepping back. Risky, and far ahead of what I had laid out for a schedule, but it was the only thing I could do to make him react. “I used to masturbate to my second cousin. All the time. Every day I came home from school, I’d have to whip one out to her. I knew it was wrong, but she had the best tits I’d ever seen, next to your mother.” Cormac reached for my throat, but I leaned back so that he missed by the smallest of margins. Still wasn’t much more passionate than swatting at a fly. “Another thing I want to get off my chest. One time I was at a sleep-over. Must’ve only been eight or nine. Took a big ol’ shit. Huge. Like the one your father has all over the operating room table while they’re trying to shove his asshole back inside. Anyhow, the toilet wouldn’t flush. Wouldn’t you know it, not a plunger in sight. So I left it. Pretended I didn’t know who’d done it. “There was a dirty kid there named Ryan Sivyer, so I let him take the blame. Would you believe that Ryan Sivyer didn’t invite me back to his birthday the next month? Never accused me directly. Passive aggressive asshole.” Cormac thought he was going to get clever and get me with his other hand, the one I’d led him to believe I wasn’t watching, but I moved again so that his fingers came up short. “Chick I used to date in high school, I did some bad shit with her too. She was one of those goth weirdos, had a tongue ring and could suck a dick like no one’s business. I was only going with her because I liked her sister. I stole a pair of her sister’s panties one night when I was over at her house. No one ever said nothing about it. I used them for a jizz rag for what had to be six months before I threw them away.” It was getting late. I was off schedule again. I cussed at myself for it, but I wanted to… I hadn’t planned on it for two days. I pulled out my dick, so close to Cormac that he had to be infuriated even though he gave no sign. Even as slow as he was I felt vulnerable. Staring Cormac in the face, I let loose a stream of urine that splattered all over his iridescent blue feet. “As you may be able to tell, old buddy old pal. I have a habit for pissing people off.” I raised the stream and pissed all over Cormac’s abdomen. I got part of his hand for good measure. “Ha ha! Do you get it, Cormac? Pissing people off?” I let the stream go to a drizzle before I zipped my fly. “Anyhow, I need to go for the night. Drink up. Your mother gets moody if I don’t piss on her at least a little.” I sat by the campfire, drank some water and ate another plate of baked beans. It would be week and a half before Cormac got to a population center. It would be the longest stand-up performance of my life, with the world’s worst audience. No distractions. For the either of us. I laid down, set the alarm clocks, and looked up at the stars. Which one had Cormac come from? Where were his people? Where were the other Cormacs? God help me, did Cormac even understand English? Cormac was an Irish word for “Destroying Son.” It’d stuck, at least in the English speaking world, because the first place Cormac had ever appeared was Ireland, and some writer had written a poem. Cormac had walked up out of the ocean, and walked straight to Dublin. It was kept secret for a while. They’d pass off whatever he broke as an “unscheduled demolition.” No one knew why he’d gone there first. It was probably random, since we’d later figured out he’d landed in the Atlantic Ocean like a meteor and spent two weeks walking the ocean floor. It was probably the closest dry land to his drop spot. After a while it had gotten to be too big to cover up. Cormac had ripped up every power plant in the city. Tore them to bits. He did that with every major utility he found. In a matter of days 1.6 million people were without power, water, or any of the amenities that make city life possible. He had made Dublin unlivable within three weeks. “As you can see, I’m up bright and early this morning. I pulled a trick on your mom. I face fucked her so hard last night she passed out. Wasn’t able to wake up this morning to make me throw her another pity fuck. I know, I was afraid the slut might be dead too, but I checked for a pulse before I left. “‘Fraid to say your dad took a turn for the worse though. The doctors had to… cut him a new asshole! Ha ha! Get it Cormac? Because his other one had been fucked to pulp?!?” I grabbed another handful of rocks, and took my time so that each one hit Cormac between the legs. It may not have been his dick. His dick may have been in the chest for all I knew, but I figured it was the thought that counted. “When I was in college, I went back to my home town one weekend. Almost no one in my home town goes to college, so I thought I was hot shit. I was failing everything, but I didn’t tell anyone that part. I’d started doing stand-up then, and everyone thought I was famous. “Found that goth weirdo I used to date. She’d gotten fat. Not the cute kind of fat either. The kind where it’s all bunched up in different weird places. Her sister though, she got hotter. Her sister and I got lit up, and then fucked in some bushes. We got caught us right in the middle of it. The goth weirdo started punching me in the back, calling me a bastard. Calling her sister a whore. “After I’d pulled out of her sister, she just sat down, put her head in her hands and asked me why I had to be such an asshole. All she wanted to know was why I had to be such an asshole. “I looked right up into her fat wobbly jowls, right into that ugly lumpy face and I said… ha ha! I said ‘Because your sister’s hot!’ “So she says ‘You’re not funny, Sean’ so I says ‘Well, you’re not hot so let’s call it a wash!’ Ha ha ha!” I brought my face as close to Cormac’s as I dared. So close I could feel the fey heat of his blue lights on my eyes. I stared down into the depths of his glass-like face and snarled. “Her face, all fat and covered with tears, that was the most pitiful thing I’d ever seen in my life. Till now.” I spit in Cormac’s face. It glistened in the sunlight. I spent the next long while following the blue demon, running around him in circles, declaring that I was not touching him. He kept walking onward. Indifferent. I had stayed late again. It was only my third day, and I’d already made a habit of breaking the schedule I’d promised myself to follow to the letter. I turned to the dark path ahead, and looked over my shoulder. “You know Cormac, my mom died when I was young.” I paused, wondering why I had said such a thing. The words had slipped out of my mouth without thought. “She got cancer.” I felt sweat on the skin of my palms. I pretended it was from the nervousness of not knowing what to say next. I reached out, and grabbed something… a half-formed joke. “You ever wish your mom had died, Cormac? So that she wouldn’t have to see what you are?” For half a beat, so quick it might have been my imagination, I swore I saw the fucking thing stop in its tracks. I dismissed it as wishful thinking and turned to go. I about let loose the shit that saved my life, before I realized how well and truly fucked I was. I’d woken up to go to the bathroom. I had not expected to see Cormac’s hands pressing against the nylon wall of my tent. Trapped in a tent like this, even Cormac might manage to get a hold of me before I could escape. I heard the swish-swish of stretched nylon, as Cormac’s hands loomed ever closer. The tent was coffin-like in its proportions. If I sat up to unzip the door, it would take me right into Cormac’s eager hands. In desperation, I threw all my weight against the side of the tent opposite Cormac. I hoped that if I could flip it over a few times it would give me the time I needed to get out. I threw my weight, and rebounded so that I almost bounced back into Cormac. “I just had to put stakes in the ground!” I shouted. Cormac must have been on his knees, ready to smother me, because there was barely a foot to move. What I needed was a knife. I had one. Outside. My shorts, which I had put under my head as a sort of pillow, found their way to my hands. If… I found the zipper and pressed the sharp pull tab to the fabric. Using my other hand to create tension, I ripped the fabric. Once the hole was big enough, I put my fingers through it and ripped it wider. It wasn’t easy. When I’d planned all this out, I’d bought the best. The fear of Cormac’s hands gave me strength. I pushed myself, scrambling, through the small hole, as I felt the rest of the tent collapse behind me. I ran a few yards before I took the time to so much as pant. I was naked except for a pair of boxer shorts. And the desert morning was cold enough that if my balls hadn’t already been pulled tight against me in fear, the temperature would have sent them their in minutes. I turned to see Cormac rising back to his feet. If he was upset at my near escape, he showed no sign. Perhaps, could show no sign. “Ah Cormac, thanks for the wake up call, Buddy. Your mom fucked me to exhaustion last night. I can barely keep my eyes open!” The alarm clock, still in the tent, went off. It was followed shortly by its companion. I stopped and stood stock still. My camp sites were set an eighth of a mile off of Cormac’s line of travel. They were also set with the idea that Cormac’s rate of speed was constant. In all the careful years of observation he was observed to travel no faster or slower in any condition. I smiled. I smiled wider. I smiled like when I found that one joke that would lay an entire audience flat. I whooped and hollered, turned around, and pulled my shorts down to give Cormac a good view of what he’d missed. What he had tried to kill. “I didn’t know you cared!” I laughed so hard I cried. I scrambled around the camp, grabbing what I could find and hurling it at Cormac in orgiastic glee. “Am I getting to you, you old blueballed fuckface! Am I fraying your last nerve, you cumguzzling dickwipe?” Cormac, slowly, but perhaps, just perhaps a little faster than usual crushed one of the alarm clocks beneath his foot. A few minutes later, the other followed. The twin beeps died so that the only sounds left were the wind and my own breathing. I remembered the pause from last night. The tick. I ran to Cormac as though eager to share glorious news. “Hey Cormac! Your momma doesn’t love you! You hear me? Your Momma hates you!” “When I was little, my mom could tell I liked fighting and stealing too much. I used to get caught with shit from the grocery store in my pockets all the time. Pack of gum, chocolate bar, maybe a comic book. I stole a candle on the day my mom died. I lit it in the church, and I could tell my mom was somewhere up in heaven crying that her son had to be such a little shit even in the face of something so serious.” I was dressed again. Cormac had ripped apart a lot of my equipment, but I had extra at the next camp site. The only things that were unique were the alarm clocks I’d been carrying in my pockets. “It was a very confusing time when she died. But I was glad too, because that’s the kind of asshole I am. My mother died, and suddenly I got all the oven-bake pizza and ice cream I could eat. Still, it kept me up at night. Thinking about her somewhere up there, watching me.” Cormac was definitely walking faster, and I thought I could sense something like strain coming off the hulking blue beast. I walked close to him, stuck my face in his, and walked backwards, matching him step for step. “I can’t even imagine what your mother thinks of you, Cormac. Maybe I drank when I should have studied. Maybe I fucked when I should have been loving, but I ain’t never done the fucked up shit you done. If I hurt someone it was always incidental. But you? You go out of your way to be a dick.” I poked Cormac with a stick. In his eyes. In his crotch. In his chest. “How’s it feel to know you can’t catch me? Little Sean Doolittle, who couldn’t win a fist fight if he had a gun, and big strong Cormac is at his mercy. What would your mother say to that?” I broke the stick on Cormac’s face, but I didn’t worry to much about it, as the way ahead offered many more. “Way I figure, you’ve got all kinds of relatives. I ain’t no fucking scientist, but nothing like you happens by itself. You’ve got to have family. You’ve got to have people fucking over a long period of time, and with all your fancy powers, you got to have them fucking in a society! “A sophisticated piece of cum like you doesn’t come to be without serious emotional fucking damage. And this whole slow walk bit? That’s pretty fucked up too. This isn’t how things are supposed to be, are they Cormac?” I thought about a version of Cormac that was fast. I thought about a hundred million Cormac’s sprinting, and invulnerable to atomics. I had to suppress a shudder. “I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass. It was another one of those shit things I did that pissed off my mother. So she told me about how in the olden times, when you did something bad, they’d stake you to the ground, and smear you with honey and let the ants eat you alive. “I figure that’s what they did to you, and you’re here kicking ant hills.” I found another stick and rammed it into Cormac’s face, over and over. “You’re a disgrace to your whole fucking family, Cormac! Your mother doesn’t even cry when she thinks of you. She thanks God that you’re out of sight and out of mind. She divorced your father so she could go fuck other men, have other children, and write you out of her life. “The ants finally learned how to pinch, Cormac! So pinch! Ha ha! Your own mother hates you! Pinch pinch!” The sun was going down, but I didn’t mind. I was onto something, and I’d never been good with schedules anyway. My throat was hoarse from yelling all through the night, but I’d gotten some extra water once we’d walked close enough to my next camp. I’d forgotten sunblock, but that seemed a minor concern. We were only one day out from the end game, and that was beyond even my wildest expectations. “Hey Cormac! You think your mom’s going to be disappointed I didn’t fuck her last night? You know, I lied yesterday, when I said she never talks about you. She does have one secret pleasure. “When I’m nailing her, and I mean really nailing her. Humping her so hard that her ass and tits are shaking like jello, she likes to say some of the nastiest stuff about what a disappointment you are. “It’s got this weird incest vibe. Always saying ‘oh Sean, fuck me so hard I forgot about that little shit that came out of my pussy’ or ‘oh Sean spank me like I never spanked that stupid fuck’ and, this one’s the tops ‘oh Sean cum in me like that loser son of mine dreams about every night when he touches himself!’” I had to put my hand on my legs when I bent over, I was laughing so hard. My nostrils were shaking with the thrill of it. I laughed until it was a cough and I had to drink a long pull of tepid water. After a while, the laughter subsided. “You ever think about fucking your momma, Cormac? I mean, I figure psychology’s got to be pretty universal and that’s Freud. Am I right? You ever listen at her door when she was balling the neighbors?” I put my hand to my ear in an exaggerated signal that I was waiting for him to speak. Smile still wide, although my lips were beginning to chap, I prepared my next retort. Cormac’s face opened. Somewhere near the middle of his head. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk…” it had all the force of a whisper. All the calm of the eye of a storm. If I weren’t such a prick, I wouldn’t have been pulling my pants down even as he spoke. If I weren’t such an asshole, I might have stood there, moved by the first word ever spoken by a being not of this world, instead of taking a shit. “Yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuu…” I picked up my own shit, quick as a could, and threw it in the open place in Cormac’s head. I picked up the bits of sand where some of it had escaped me, not caring for how filthy my hands were. Not caring that it was barbaric. “Eat shit, Cormac!” I screamed, not even trying to be coolly disconnected. Not even trying to be funny. “Eat shit and die!” It tore my voice box so bad I wasn’t able to speak for the rest of the day. Neither did Cormac. I had some cough syrup at my next camp site, and some sanitary wipes which I used on my hands. I even managed to eat a bit, but I hadn’t run so far ahead of Cormac that I had time for anything elaborate. A weak part of me. The part of me that had taken Bryci’s sister into the back of the car and stuck my penis inside of her, thought about taking the tent and jogging ahead and catching a few hours of sleep. I swallowed hard, feeling the cough syrup lubricating my throat. I’d packed it in case it rained and I took a cold. I ate some half-warm hot dogs, and another plate of beans. I hadn’t planned on all the beans, until I’d got to the store and they’d been on sale. It’s funny the way life works out. I raised my right hand in a one finger salute to Cormac and kept eating. I made sure to hide the gun in the back of my shorts. I’d been very careful that Cormac should not see me pick it up. That might have been a useless gesture, as Cormac seemed capable of knowing to the millimeter how to get to what he wanted to destroy, but on the off-chance that he couldn’t see, then I wanted it to be a surprise. Back to Cormac, I looked down at the gun, and made sure all the chambers were loaded. “My dad got Alzheimer’s. That’s a disease you get where you get to be rude as fuck and no one can get mad at you for it. So one day, I go into the home to visit him. Not that I did it all the time, I’m a dick, remember? But I got up there every year or so. So what do I see? “Some fucking little redhead devil is there, lookin’ a bit like me. My dad has got him by the shirt, telling him to watch himself. Telling him that he’d wanted his mother to have the abortion, but she’d demanded they go through with it, and that they’ve both spent their whole life regretting the decision.” I felt like I’d run out of things to say, and I couldn’t think up anything more creative than bouncing rocks off Cormac’s head. The most original thing I’d thought to think of that day was walking behind Cormac. Sometimes stopping. That seemed to really burn his biscuit. He wanted me to kill me. Wanted to tear me apart worse than anything else on this ant-heap, and when I stopped behind him, when I made a move like I might get up and leave and never see him again, I could tell that pissed him off the most. I didn’t do it too much, because I didn’t want it to lose his effect, but I did it enough that he had to change speed. Whatever it was they’d done to him. Whatever the terms of his punishment, changing his speed hurt Cormac. It hurt him like giving birth or being born, or who the fuck knew what. “It was like going back in time and reading my dad’s mind when I was still a child. Can you even imagine? And there wasn’t even any cheesy Hallmark moment, where he made it clear he really loved me. Nothing but the shit. “I figure that’s the way your parents feel about you. Except worse.” “Ran into Bryci after all that happened. She was that goth weirdo from high school. She was a waitress. No wait, I’m sorry. A hostess. I got drunk, and we got to talking, but not about how I fucked her sister twenty years back. About her life. She got married, had a couple of kids. Still fat, but better looking. She wanted to know how life was in the big city, so I told her to come back to my room if she wanted to know. “I’d washed out of comedy by then and I was doing insurance adjustments, but when she looked at me she saw a star. Anyhow, I fucked her. I fucked her good and hard and long, and I came right in her. Then I sent her on home to her husband and took a shower.” I took a long swallow of water. My voice was scratchy, but I figured Cormac could suss it all out. “Came back a couple of month’s later, on account of my dad had a stroke and was on life support. It said right in his will to pull the plug, so I did, but I also felt good about it, and I knew that wasn’t right. Fucking old man, talking about me that way. “I went to the bar needing a fuck, found Bryci, and guess who was pregnant!?! I knew it was mine because of the way all the color ran out of her face. Wondering if I’d say something. Wondering if I’d tattle to her husband. “So I ordered a drink. Then I took another, and next thing I know I’m shouting ‘Because your sister is fucking hotter than you!’ at the top of my lungs. Some guys took me outside and roughed me up. Small town. People have friends, and all that. “Bryci comes out, looks at me and says ‘You’re not funny, Sean.’ Then she spits right in my face. “So I’m laying there, blood all over my face, and I can’t quit laughing. I had a girlfriend back in the city. Well, a fuck buddy. And that’s when I realized, here I was, going to have a kid. Going to have a kid that I probably wasn’t ever going to be allowed to know, and the most significant emotional relation I’d ever had with anyone, was with a waitress whose sister I had fucked twenty years ago. “Then I saw some piece about you on the news. Would you believe, except for things like building projects, no one ever thinks about you anymore? You’re just a consideration like earthquakes or volcanoes. No one actually cares about you. We’re not even terrified anymore. And that’s what I realized about myself. I was just someone people planned around. No one actually cared. “So I figured I was going to have a kid, might one day find out who pops was, I might as well do something good. Went to the gym, learned to run. Made up a plan.” I drank another deep pull. “We’re a lot alike, Cormac. That’s why I fucking hate you so much.” I took out all the bullets in the chambers but one, spun it faster than I could see, and with one flick of the wrist snapped the chamber back into place. “In my plan, the big one I had for killing you, there were supposed to be news choppers here. There were supposed to be reporters, and big-titty college school girls getting wet between the legs. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to be a hero. I only wanted to get laid a couple of times before the ending.” I was sitting on a rock, thirty or so yards ahead of Cormac, and he was aimed right at me. The hole in his head was open. Like the son of a bitch wanted to eat me. “No one knows you’ve changed course, old buddy. No one knows your walking faster. No one even cares. Especially not your momma. I bet that time they knocked you into space, you didn’t even get something so personal as a swat to send you back. It was automated, I bet. No alarms or anything.” I took aim at the hole in Cormac’s head and pulled the trigger. The gun fired and glanced off. Well, so much for last chances. I’d figured it wouldn’t work anyway. “That wasn’t very dramatic.” I sighed, and loaded another bullet then repeated the process. This time I put the gun to my own temple and pulled the trigger. There was only a hollow click. “My mother used to tell me I could frustrate someone to death.” I jumped down from the rock and shot at Cormac. There was another empty report. Three chambers left. I stood directly in front of him and stopped. I put the gun to my temple and squeezed. Nothing. “Do you want to kill me Cormac? Do you want to kill me so you don’t have to hear about your momma no more?” I could feel the effort from him as he struggled to increase his speed by the smallest margins. “Yeeeeeesssssssssss….” I walked toward Cormac and stayed a few tantalizing inches out of his reach. “Do you want to kill me so bad you can’t think about anything else?” I asked. I could see some sort of strange redness inside of Cormac’s mouth. I wondered if that meant he was damaging himself trying to get to me. “Diiiiiieeeeee….” Cormac’s hand, slowly began to ascend. I leaned forward so my neck was the easiest thing to grab. “The only relationship you have in the entire world, is with an ant.” I pulled the trigger at Cormac. Nothing. One left. I could feel the warmth of Cormac’s blue light on my neck as his fingers prepared for a slow squeeze. I waited for the last possible moment. “Nope, Cormac. Your mother told me last night you weren’t even good enough for this. Do the world a favor and kill yourself.” I put the gun to my temple. Two circles of white appeared on Cormac’s head. I supposed they were his eyes. They seemed full of horror. Of agony without end. Of denial and loss. I smiled. Then I squeezed the trigger.
2015.12.12 17:31 noirargent[FIGHT THREAD] Anthony Joshua vs Dillian Whyte, Chris Eubank Jr vs Gary O’Sullivan, Kevin Mitchell vs Ismael Barroso, Tony Bellew vs Mateusz Masternak, Luke Campbell vs Yvan Mendy, Dereck Chisora vs Jakov Gospic, Paulie Malignaggi vs Antonio Moscatiello + more
Date: December 12, 2015 Time: 9:00 PM PST, 12:00 PM EST, 5:00 PM GMT Location: O2 Arena, Greenwich, London, United Kingdom TV: Sky Box Office (UK)
ANTHONY JOSHUA VS DILLIAN WHYTE
estimated ringwalk 2:45 PM PST
CHRIS EUBANK JR VS GARY O’SULLIVAN
Chris Eubank Jr
KEVIN MITCHELL VS ISMAEL BARROSO
interim WBA world lightweight title
El Tigre, Venezuela
TONY BELLEW VS MATEUSZ MASTERNAK
estimated ringwalk 11:45 PM PST
LUKE CAMPBELL VS YVAN MENDY
DERECK CHISORA VS JAKOV GOSPIC
PAULIE MALIGNAGGI VS ANTONIO MOSCATIELLO
estimated ring walk 9:05 AM PST
View the comments in real-time by using Reddit-Stream Live round-by-round coverage
Anthony Joshua vs Dillian Whyte
Round 1 Final instructions have been given. The question is when will this end. Joshua and Whyte staring at one another. Seconds out. Here we go. Whyte out to the center first and tries a right. Joshua’s left avoided. Joshua jabs. Whyte with a big right over the top and misses. Whyte’s left is blocked. Whyte with a quick start. Joshua blocks the right. A big left by Joshua and Whyte not doing good. Already looks hurt. Joshua with a right hand. Joshua covers up as Whyte tried to attack. Joshua with a 1-2. Whyte with the left hand that sneaks past the gloves. Whyte tries a left hook and misses. Joshua with a left hook. Whyte lands the left hook. Joshua smiling. A right hand from Joshua. Whyte on the ropes. Whyte slipping the blows. Joshua misses a right, a big right lands this time. Whyte trying to counter. They trade big lefts and Whyte is badly hurt. Whyte in the center and Whyte escapes for now. Joshua with an uppercut, a right. Joshua continues to smile. Joshua with a big right hand. Whyte eats a straight right. A left after the bell and by Joshua and Whyte is trying to fight back. The corners are in the ring, there’s a big commotion. Officials in the ring now. It’s going to be interesting to see how they handle this.
Round 2 Both fighters in the center before the bell. Howard Foster warning them to keep things clean. He sends them to the neutral corners and we’re off. Joshua looks like he’s having fun. He’s talking to Whyte. Joshua blocks the right. Joshua continues to talk to Whyte. Whyte double jab, tries the right, nothing. Whyte eats a jab. Whyte with a right hand. Joshua with a jab. Joshua not really looking to go not he offensive fully yet. Whyte on the ropes, a left hook and a right. Another right. Joshua scores with some big shots. Whyte takes them well. A right upper cut for Joshua. A huge right hand drills Whyte and he’s badly hurt. Whyte with a huge left hook and now Joshua is hurt. Whyte with a right. Joshua with a 1-2. A right uppercut from Joshua. Whyte eats a right hand. A right and left from Whyte. A right uppercut from Joshua. Whyte with a nice body shot. Joshua with a left hook. Whyte with another body shot. Both guys hurt.
Whyte 10-9, 19-19
Round 3 Joshua begins by jabbing. A left for Whyte. A left hook for Joshua, a left jab as well. Whyte trying to go body then head. A jab for Joshua. A left hook for Joshua scores. Whyte takes it. A right hand for Joshua. Body shots for Joshua. More bodywork for Whyte. Whyte goes to the body as Joshua came in with a jab. Joshua’s punches have lost a lot of their speed. Joshua’s mouth open. Whyte sneaks a right hand in.
Whyte 10-9, 29-28 Whyte
Round 4 Whyte walks into a left hook. Joshua misses the right hand. A left hook for Joshua. Whyte taking his punches well. A big right for Joshua makes Whyte back up. Joshua lands the jab, a right hand over the top. Joshua short with the right hand. Joshua attacks the body. Joshua with a nice left hook and right hook. A big straight right by Joshua lands on the chin. A nice lead left hook for Whyte. A left hook for Joshua. A right hook by Joshua. A big left hook scores for Joshua. Whyte drops his hands. He looks confident.
Joshua 10-9, 38-38
Round 5 A jab for Joshua opens up the action in this round. Joshua with a jab. Whyte slaps the body with his right. Joshua tries the right and it’s blocked. Another right hand. Joshua blocks Whyte’s attack. A nice left hook and right hand from Joshua. A right hand from Whyte. Joshua with a right and left hook. A right uppercut from Joshua. Joshua doing a nice job boxing now. Joshua gets a right hand to land. Joshua just trying to box now. A left hook for Joshua scores. A left to the body by Joshua and immediately Whyte’s mouth opened up. A right to the body by Joshua. A left hook for Joshua. Whyte letting his hands go but nothing on them. A body shot for Joshua. Whyte looking like height be gassed.
Joshua 10-9, 48-47 Joshua
Round 6 Joshua misses a left hook and Whyte tries to counter with the right. Joshua lands his jab. A 1-2 for Joshua lands on the inside. Whyte gets his right hand to land. Joshua ducks a right. Double jab for Joshua. A big 1-2 from Joshua, he ducks the right. Joshua eats a couple of jabs. Whyte with a nice right hand on the inside. Joshua keeping Whyte on the outside with his jab, goes to the body in between jabs. A hard jab for Joshua. Whyte misses the right. Joshua steps out of range, a beautiful right counter for Joshua. Joshua goes to the body, comes up with a left to the head.
Joshua 10-9, 58-56 Joshua
Round 7 Joshua with a body jab. He lands a right hand up top. Whyte with a quick right. Whyte misses a left hook. A nice hard right hook from Joshua and Whyte is badly hurt. No legs at all. Whyte holds. Joshua going for the kill. A big right. Whyte is badly hurt and on the ropes. Joshua with a right, another huge right. Whyte on the ropes. Joshua with a big right uppercut and Whyte flails to the canvas and they’re gonna stop this! Huge win for Anthony Joshua.
2014.10.28 22:27 BanjoismyHomeboyI went on my first overseas trip to Ireland with my father earlier this month. Here's how it went, with some recommendations as well! (Follow-up / Long Post)
Hello /travel! I returned from a trip in Ireland earlier this month so this is my summary post of how it went, and some recommendations for anyone interested in visiting the Emerald Isle. Being that this post became quite long-winded, I've posted an abbreviated TL;DR at the bottom. I'll also be adding photos later. I traveled with my father and we were there for about 8 days. We traveled around the southern part of Ireland starting and ending in Dublin. I’ll add that while having a few key sights we wanted to see, we didn’t tie ourselves to a strict itinerary of what to do every singe day. I’ve broken our trip into different sections (Bolded) to help split it up. Driving Being that we’re from "across the pond", it was jolting to be driving on the other side of the road than we do in the states, but we definitely underestimated how difficult it was going to be to find our way around. I hate sounding like an ignorant American, but I did anticipate there being more visible signage and not nearly as many one-way roads. So after getting out of the airport, we spent roughly an hour and a half driving around Dublin (very sleep deprived) trying to find our hotel. It wasn’t long before we regretted not getting specific directions beforehand, or having/renting a GPS. Long story short I highly recommend renting/bringing a GPS that will have data for Ireland's roads, it would’ve saved us a TON of time and frustration. Additionally, there are a number of areas (particularly on the western side of Ireland) that are very very narrow. The speed limit signs can be quite absurd, and people will pass in these narrow-road areas close too 100km/hr. Day by day locations Getting around Dublin (largest city in Ireland by a big margin) If you know where you’re going, Dublin is fairly pedestrian friendly, and we learned very quickly that Irish people are very friendly and we were shocked how far out of their way some of them went to help us find ours. We also heard over and over from Dubliners that even they don’t like driving in Dublin which was helpful to us. However, at the end of the trip when we were back in the capital, we took taxis a few times, and that made getting from A to B much easier. If you’ve got the money for it, Taxis save a lot of frustration and time if traffic isn’t too bad. Dublin Dublin has a LOT to offer. Unfortunately we didn’t have nearly enough time to see a lot of it, and even missed our chance to visit the Guinness Brewery which was on our checklist. That said, the best areas of note that we visited were South of the river Liffey. The Temple Bar area is a quaint little area with lots of pubs and shops and cobblestone roads. Its a little touristy, but not overly so in my opinion. We also stopped by Trinity College for a short while. Sadly due to exhaustion we didn’t stop by to see the Book of Kells or the long room which are both supposed to be quite worth the time. At the end of the trip, we visited New Grange, which is one of the oldest still-standing man made structures on the planet. It pre-dates Stonehenge and the Egyptian Pyramids, yet many people don’t know about it. Unlike Blarney, it was much less “touristy” at the actual site, and the history/mystery about it was quite fascinating. If History is interesting to you (particularly stone age history) this is a great attraction. The last evening we walked down Grafton Street in south Dublin which is a large pedestrian only street with a lot of shops and some pubs/restaurants. Check it out if you have time! Waterford We arrived too late to Waterford to be able to tour the Waterford Crystal factory, but we did spend a good amount of time in their shop and ended up buying a couple smaller pieces to remember the trip. If you have the time and have an appreciation for art, I would definitely recommend going through the museum/factory as it is beautiful glasswork. We also visited Reginald’s tower, which is one of the oldest turrets/towers from the viking invasions. It admittedly wasn’t too much to look at, but it has some interesting history as well as a replica of a viking ship next to it. Its worth a few minutes to check out and was only about a 5 minute walk from the crystal shop. Cork Cork has a lot of great things to see, and is also the second largest city in Ireland! Had we researched it a bit more before our trip, we could’ve definitely spent more time there. The English Market was a nice place to stop in and grab a bite to eat. Not so much of a tourist attraction, as it is just a market, its a great place to get some local flavor (and food). We also went to look at St. Fin Barre’s Cathedral on the south side of Cork. Its a very beautiful church if that interests you, but there is a charge to go inside. They had discounts for students and seniors, but we ultimately decided the exterior was enough for us. Blarney Being that this was our first time over there, we decided we had to see Blarney Castle and kiss the stone. The castle and surrounding attractions were easily the most touristy locations we visited while in Ireland. While it was worth it to see this time, I don’t think I’d do the whole walkthrough if I were to go back. There’s some interesting history there, but several aspects of the walkthrough took away from the historical experience. In short, it felt more like a line for an amusement park ride, and the “ride” was kissing the stone. There was even a mounted flashing camera there so you could buy a photo in the shop that was built into the castle wall on the lower level. That said, the surrounding area looked like it had a number of interesting stores and places to eat, but we didn’t have time to check them out. Fortunately we weren’t there when it was very crowded at all. I can’t imagine being stuck in line in one of the more narrow sections of the castle during peak time. All in all, if you’re not dying to go, I don’t think you’re missing too much by not going. Theres a lot of other interesting castles in Ireland that I’m looking to see the next time I go, whenever that may be. Doolin/The Cliffs of Moher We stayed at Doolin for a night and went to the Cliffs the next morning. Doolin is a very small town and is rather quaint, but all of their roads are quite narrow, so proceed with caution if driving. Not much to say about the town other than the fact that it is quite nice looking in the daylight. The Cliffs on the other hand were phenomenal. I highly highly recommend seeing the Cliffs of Moher in person. I’ll post a picture, but like fine art, it isn’t nearly as incredible as seeing it in person. There is a path that leads up to the cliffs out of the Visitor’s Center, and you can essentially go to the left or the right. we went to the right first, and I would say that is the best side see. On this side there is a mini-tower that was built by the landowner in the late 1800s for visitors. But this is also the side that give you the best view of the cliffs, and there is an unofficial pathway you can take which was super awesome. Just after this mini-tower I mentioned, there is a sign and a mini-barricade that basically says you can continue this way, but you’re on your own as this is a farmer’s land (it’s all fenced though so just stay off the fence (it’s electric). This part is so great because it’s guaranteed to have far fewer people than the rest of the area. Since it’s not part of the official park, you can walk right up to the edge if you want. That said, you still need to be careful, and I wouldn’t have even gone that way if it was windy and/or wet. This “unofficial" area alone was the most memorable for me, about a five minute walk from the sign/divide that you cross, there is an area with thick bedrock where I stood right on the edge, and its easily one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. When we went back we checked out the other side (left side) and found it to be much less appealing. It was much more handicap friendly, but the views were far less exciting and there were far more people, many were rather rude as well. An employee of the visitor center told us that the best times to come (when there is the least people) is early morning or late evening. They also said that if the sky is clear (which doesn’t happen very much at all) the sunsets/sunrises are truly unforgettable. Overall an A+ experience. Galway We spent 2 nights in Galway as a “break” from our routine up until then. This was a good idea as the driving was getting a bit tiresome at this point. IIRC Galway is the 3rd largest city and is considered a “young people’s city”. As we were there during a weekend, we found that to be rather true as there were a lot of young people around and out (we also had really nice weather). We didn’t do much sight seeing, and did more wandering and shopping, but if that’s what you’d be interested in, the “Spanish Arch” area is quite good for that and is where much of the city’s nightlife takes place. The arch itself isn’t much to see, but the bay area is quite beautiful on a good day. The area near by is filled with pubs, shops and restaurants. It is a great all-in one area if you need a break from sightseeing. If you should happen to be there during the weekend, they have a small outdoor market near a St. Steven’s church where you can buy anything from food to wool socks. I’ll also mention it in my food/drink highlights section, but Tigh Neachtain’s is pub in the area that retains it’s original interior and is rather unique. Check it out during the day for a look as it gets more packed than a can of sardines at night. On the morning that we left Galway, we decided to drive through Conemara as we didn’t get to enjoy the Burren near the Cliffs earlier in the trip. While not as stunning and amazing as the cliffs, this was another interesting part of the trip and I would recommend it to someone who has time for it. The landscape is beautiful and yet seems almost like you’re not in Ireland anymore with the rocky terrain and barren fields. Rather interesting and oddly beautiful if you’re a nature nut like I am. Athlone We spent a night here because my Father has cousins who live in a nearby town. This part of the trip was one of my favorites because I got to meet family that I’d never seen before. Aside from that we didn’t visit too much in Athlone, but the exception to this is Sean’s Bar, which holds the Guinness Record for oldest Pub in Europe dating back to 900AD (originally called Luain’s Inn). Like Tigh Neachtain’s in Galway, its Historically preserved, but being that it is significantly older, it was much more cool to see in person. Food Recommendations - this isn’t everything, just the most memorable/good food. DublinQueen of Tarts I believe it was on Cow Lane (or something along those lines). Its a few minutes walking west of Temple Bar This was our first meal in Ireland, and may have been one of my favorites, but that was likely due to the exhaustion from the flight. It’s a specialty desserts/sweets shop, but they also serve breakfast and lunch. We had lunch and not only were the portions generous (even to two Americans) but it was quite delicious as well. I had a sandwich, and my father had a soup and sandwich. There’s a whole counter with everything from cookies to cakes and more as well! WaterfordThe Reg This is about 10 steps away from the back of Reginald’s Tower. It’s a pub/restaurant and the food was exquisite. My father had a seafood pie which he kept talking about days later, and I had their chicken curry. I’m not sure how Irish chicken curry is, but it was very filling and excellently balanced. Highly recommended. In the same “complex” there is a whisky bar which looked like a great place for some Whiskey, if that’s your thing. CorkFarmgate Cafe This is located in Cork’s English Market on the second floor. We ate in the glassed in area which was quite crowded, but it seemed like the same food could be ordered from a counter outside the same area on the 2nd floor. We both had the Shepard’s pie, and despite the fact that it was hotter than a volcano when served, it was very fresh and delicious. A quality and hearty meal for midday. I believe they’re only open for Breakfast and Lunch. DoolinTwin Peaks BnB Obviously, you can’t stop in for breakfast if you don’t have a room there, but if you’re planning on staying in Doolin, stay here and get the Full Irish Breakfast. It was my first one over there, and was definitely my favorite. Since Doolin is right near the cliffs, this is a great place to stay the night before and/or after. AthloneShelmalier House BnB The breakfast here was quite fantastic as well. In addition to everything we had at Twin Peaks BnB, they also served Black & White pudding, and a scone for each of us. The host called them scones, but they seemed like really thick flapjacks to us and were served with pure Canadian Maple syrup. Another fantastic breakfast, and the BnB overall was my favorite as well. The best shower and bed I had all trip. Although I made a rather long post, I would be happy to answer any more questions that anyone might have! Ask away! TL;DR: Went to Ireland and had a great experience with my dad. Some recommendations: * If renting a car, rent/use a GPS * If you’re landing in Dublin, get specific directions in Advance to find your way to your hotel/bnb/etc * Taxis can save a ton of headaches and frustration in the bigger cities. Just don’t depend on them, or use them when roads are super busy. * Visit the Cliffs of Moher!
I think it's very different to Canada and the US. Now, aside from the war of 1812, I'm not sure what kind of past the two countries have had. up until very recently there was a serious amount of violence in the North so it's very fresh in peoples minds.
In government, Stormont and the Dáil are very cooperative and work very well side by side. With people, it's different.
Depending on where you are, it can be really casual or really tense. On one hand: I have mates from Belfast who I can jovially call 'Loyalist Bastards' to rapturous laughter (because they know I don't think in that way at all.) and they'll call me a free stater (archaic term used around the time of the establishment of Ireland as an independent nation) and we all have a laugh.
However, it can be very hit and miss. If you look at local news there's still a huge amount of sectarian tension and so many people in the North who still Identify with paramilitary groups on both sides. So it's a bit touchy and you should really be careful.
So there are friendly stereotypes but you gotta know who you're dealing with first. I mean, there are still people in Belfast who would kick the shit out of me for being from the Republic. Sadly, it's the same vica versa in Dublin.
That was a hopelessly messy answer, I hope it was alright.
I guess it's kind of annoying. Especially when those people so adamantly profess their Irishness when they're no more Irish than Barack Obama (Who, on his visit to Ireland, went to Offaly and visited his 'ancestral home town' which I thought was ludicrous) . I think it's great knowing where you came from, but there's a certain ridiculousness in clinging to a small strand of lineage in an effort to subscribe to the very chic Irishness that comes around once a year on the 17th of March.
That was a messy answer, but that's it. I think it's fine when people say 'you know, my ancestors left Ireland in the early 1800s and settled here in Boston, isn't that interesting?' I will invariably say yes, but when that person says 'I'm Irish' it annoys the hell out of me. They're not Irish. They're from Boston. End of story.
In general? Well... there are of course standard stereotypes that one has to do ones best to ignore. Most American people I've met in Uppsala have been really lovely people. But I have met a couple of the 'AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE GOD DAMNED WORLD' variety. Which is rather unpleasant. I was at a show in Stockholm and there was another show happening in the venue beside me, I bumped into a couple of guys in the line for the cloakroom who were at the other show talking about the nationality of the band I went to see. One of them said 'I'm pretty sure they're english' the band, Biffy Clyro, are not english at all but scottish. In a friendly way I interjected and said 'they're scottish, by the way, just so you know! 'to which the big bald American said 'whatever, it's all the same.' Internally facepalming, I said 'well don't let a scotsman hear you say that, he wouldn't be happy' to which he lost his smile, went totally serious and said 'Im from the United States of America, i'm not afraid.' Which was the most painfully embarrassing thing I've ever heard a person say in public. Trying to keep the tone hearty, I said 'well... I'm just saying!' and he said 'Yeah well we have tanks, what do they have?' All I could say was 'how are you so openly embracing the cliche of yourself?' and he didn't understand.
That was one isolated incident, but my mate from Boston has told me that kind of 'Murica attitude is annoyingly commonplace. But as I said, I tend to get on well with American people who are flexible in conversation, up for a debate and not just a 'no you're an idiot' which i've experienced and of course, who are not patronising to people from every other country. You know, people with the 'It's the USA and the rest of the world' outlook.
But yeah, largely a big fan. But every country has it's dickheads, right? Ireland has more than a few!
Ireland is severely lacking in cuisine. However, a really nice meal is a beef and guinness pie. (I'm really not helping the stereotype, am I?) There are some great vegetarian recipes you can find online, too, for other irish dishes!
Oh and Irish Stew. Can't go wrong with a stew. Dead handy to make.
I guess I wish people knew a couple of bits and pieces: 1: 99.999% of the country hate and condemn the IRA in all it's forms. 2: We are no longer a part of the United Kingdom and have not been since 1922. (Northern Ireland HAS been a part of the United Kingdom since 1937). Check a map! 3: We're not all drunken lunatics. I'm sure there are more things I just can't really think of them haha. I do think more people should visit. It's a beautiful country.
It depends on how much time you have. If you're in Dublin definitely go to the Guinness Storehouse. Stereotypes aside, it's a really awesome building. Normally when you go to brewery you expect some old dude to show you a brewing vat, but in the storehouse it's a really amazing and interesting tour which ends with a spectacular view of Dublin City with a Guinness in hand nostalgia trip.
There are a bunch of places to go in Dublin so you'll never be far from some great music, food or pubs. Further outwards you could head to the west of Ireland and see some really lovely coastal towns. Lahinch is great for surfing and amazing seafood.
Gah, there's so much to do... I'd be happy to go further into it if needs be!
Oh my word! you're going to love it! When are you coming over? No it's not a problem at all. not even a little bit. Everyone speaks English and you can take Swedish classes if you'd like. If you put a housing application in with the university housing office they'll sort you out. Flogsta is the best place to get an apartment. A bit out of the city but with great fun and once you have a bike there's no problem with transport. It's an awesome place. the student nations are so much fun. you're gonna bloody well love it.
Oh awesome, I'm heading to amsterdam next month. For the Tulips.. cough cough
What else... don't use the bus unless you need to, don't go into bars that aren't student nations and shop outside the city centre for groceries. it's expensive as hell. God damn, I have 6 months left but you're gonna have the time of your life. So so so so great.
Were you born here? Or are your parents Irish? The soup eater thing has it's roots in a very sour part of Irish history. Back during the famine when a huge portion of the population was starving a number of protestant institutions offered food (soup) to local populations. The catch was that they would only give it to people who converted from catholicism to protestantism. Priests would say to their congregations that they should die before taking the soup. Moving forward in history, as you know Irish people went abroad at various times looking for work. One example is in the first world war where many irishmen joined the british army so that they could be paid 'the kings shilling' and feed their families. This was taken poorly by many people back home who would then call them 'soup takers' for, some though, betraying the nation. During the 70s and 80s in the midst of terrible terrible economic turmoil, like now, many people left and are leaving to find work in different countries. Some people might still call them soup takers for leaving. My friend called me a soup taker for going to study in Sweden, to which I responded that the soup tasted more delicious than any I'd had at home. He said it in jest, as it tends to be said these days.
The government is steadily becoming more distant from the church but it's at a ponderously slow pace. It's rather embarrassing. You're probably aware of the abortion issue at play currently in irish politics and, let's not forget, divorce was only LEGALISED in 1996. It's laughable. It's not as bad as the 60s and 70s. Ever want to get into a jaw dropping rabbit hole? look up the church in Ireland during the 60s.
My family is Catholic by tradition, but I myself have moved away from any kind of believe system or faith, which is a rapidly growing non-group in Ireland at the moment. That's the same with a number of my friends, but not all (which is obviously fine)
My dad is very much an active, pious Catholic (he still occasionally tries to 'bring me around') my mum believes in a higher power of some sort, be that a god, gods, whatever. it's quite nonspecific and she's more into the idea of the omniscient universe presence. She's more new-agey than anything else. my little brother believes in god but is steadily becoming more disillusioned with his faith, the same goes for my sister, come to think of it.
Putting faith itself aside, one thing that more and more people are agreeing on is how impossibly flawed and unforgiving the catholic church is. The child abuse scandals hit my dad pretty hard as it was as if he just saw the matrix code and he became very sad for a long time about the institution he had put his faith in. That's a very common thing these days.
I'm sure I missed something. Is there anything more specific you'd like to know? I'm happy to talk about this stuff! (I understand that many people put up the immovable wall of dogma from which they cannot be moved, but I try to keep the eyes and mind open as much as I can*)
*that sounded a little lofty, and I'm sorry for that.
Long ago, on a little known wind-worn Island by the cliffs, there lived a man. This man was not a man as you or I would recognise one, but a very different kind of man indeed: He was a boy. Boys, you see, are not fully grown men and are difficult to describe as such, which led to much confusion among the very strange kinds of women (called girls) who lived on the clifftops overlooking his tiny Island (so it was said).
Every morning the man-boy would rise early and begin collecting his twigs and rocks. He (yeah, let's call him 'He') would go from the beach to his hut, to and fro, bringing back various objects with which he would be able to do his work. After a light lunch, he would puff out his chest, smile broadly, cough (once if he was happy, twice if he was sad) and begin his work.
His work involved the arranging of his newly found objects on the beach. Some days he would have very many objects to use, other days not much at all; regardless of how many objects he had collected he would complete the work in whatever way he could. This particular day when he had gathered his items, had his lunch, puffed out his chest, smiled broadly and coughed, he decided to begin his work as normal. As he began arranging his bits and pieces he heard a sound. He had never heard such a sound before today and had no reason to want to continue listening to it, thank you very much. But when the sound did not go away he thought it his duty as the sole resident and president of Little Island to investigate. After raising his head and looking around himself several times, he found the source of the sound: Across the water, up the cliff and along the grass was... a woman-girl... He had never actually seen one come to the cliff edge and had assumed they were simply stories told to him by Grandfather beard, the old man who gave him advice from time to time and sometimes stole his socks (No one fully knows why to this day). But there one was, standing across from him staring right back at him. He noticed that, let's call her 'She,' She was standing next to a pile of various objects and pieces of rubbish. To his surprise and delight, he noticed that some of the rubbish was junk he had used on other days for his work. Unable to restrain himself, he began to wave frantically. Leaning her head to the side slightly, She jerked the fingers of her open hand in his direction, slightly. Without another glance at him she turned, and began doing something that was remarkably similar to what He had been doing. Not wanting to be undone so early in the day, He began his work again, faster now, glancing over his shoulder to see how far along she had come (forgetting that he had no idea what she WAS doing). When he collapsed, exhausted, on the golden sand he glanced upwards to see how She was getting on. To his annoyance, she had finished her work also, and was sitting staring at what he had completed.
That's when he saw it.
Of all the things Grandfather beard had taught him, none was quite so important as the word. The word was the most powerful word in the world and would, He was told, change his life forever in the most wonderful, challenging and amazing way. 'When the word comes along,; Grandfather Beard had told him,'you must take the chance that, for there shall be no more beyond that. That is your only chance. That is everything. The word is everything.' Looking across the water the word was unmistakable. Scrawled on the cliff in random little black dots read the word: 'HIM?'
He blinked at Her, who was standing looking at his work with both hands over her mouth. He wondered why the woman-girl was acting so strangely, was something behind him? was he in danger? He couldn't be! His life was about to change forever, remember? No, He was alright, something was wrong with Her. Snapping out of these thoughts, He noticed that She was no longer staring at his work but at him, though the shock and joy were still apparent in her face. He avoided her gaze looking back up at his work that he had worked on every single day since his mentor had left, as Grandfather Beard had instructed. 'The work you do shall be the spark that ignites your hearts fire. Yours is the word that will join worlds.'
He had always thought this rather strange, but, not wanted to displease Grandfather Beard, he obliged. What was so special about his word? He arose and began pacing up and down the beach glancing first at his word, then hers, then her, then his word again. What was so special about his work? What was so special about 'Her?'
As the golden sun began to burn orange He yawned and looked over at the moon which was just beginning to show itself for a night of blue illumination. Looking over at Her, he noticed she was gone. Where had she gone? Did he imagine her? Of course not, look at the word she made! rubbing his eyes he looking out on the ocean towards the cliffs and saw her: In a little wooden dinghy with a yellow lamp on the front, bobbing towards him slowly.
With a sqeak he began tidying up his things. Running down into the breaking water, he stood. Shoes wet, dry socks (Grandfather Beard was keeping them), broad smile he stood, waiting for Her to arrive. When she finally did arrive some time later, she stepped out of the boat and, feet and dress soaked, began walking towards Him who had retreated to the beach after considering She might want to attack him. When she walked towards him he decided he would be brave and elected to stand up straight with his hand stretched out in front of him. Betrayed by his quivering hand, he attempted a brave smile as she stopped mere feet in front of him.
'Hello,' she said, quietly.
'Hello,' he replied, voice cracking slightly.
'I've been waiting for your sign,' he said without thinking. He felt foolish for saying such a thing, but when she beamed at him he didn't feel quite so foolish anymore. 'I've been waiting for yours, too,' she finally said. He didn't know why, but He was suddenly smiling as much as She was. What a curious thing indeed. As if urged on by an arm not his own, he reached out and took her hand. 'Breaking Bad and pizza?' he said. 'yes' she smiled.
'You'll just have to reach and grab it, you'll know when it comes along, but if you don't at least try you'll always regret it. That's how good Breaking Bad is'
People mix up the accents of the British Isles the whole time. It's nothing new. Someone once said to me that I sounded a little bit irish and if I got that a lot. facepalm I wouldn't dwell too much on it, really. It's always gonna be like that. I guess it can be. What with people smacking each other with hurls and all that. I love watching both, they're great sports. I just love the speed of Hurling.
There are some norman castles on the west coast, yeah, but It's certainly hammed up in films. Film makers tend to "do the yanks" (rip off the Americans) when making films in Ireland. Romanticise the country as much as possible. It's very silly. Ummm it's marketed as Magners in England, right? Or am I wrong? I have no idea to be honest. It's not real cider as far as I'm concerned so I don't really drink it, but it could indeed be a different recipe, as with guinness extra stout, foreign extra and black lager.
Oh is it? I didn't know that. I realise that me saying 'real' cider seemed quite patronising, but the only reason I said it is because I'm acutely aware of the brewing process and the amount of chemicals they use is insane.
Yeah Ireland is absolutely tiny, you're right. I like being from a small country, I think it certainly gives some perspective on world events. Looking at countries like china and russia and america with their bloated and muscle-flexing armies it's a very interesting thing to look at the size of our army and know that some people are even calling for it's total disbandment. I don't really subscribe to patriotism as I think it's weird to be prideful of where you were accidentally born, but (possibly hypocritically) I do feel a little bit happy to come from such a beautiful place. For all it's flaws, it's home. And when we do step up to the plate as a nation, we tend to get things done. One example is our leading the charge with the smoking ban in workplaces. A very small thing, I know, but it made me smile to think that we were one of the first to pioneer that idea. So I think we can indeed have great influence in matters not of war or strength but in politics (good friday agreement) and economics (when we do it right. google 'the celtic tiger') I feel like i'm in the right place. Despite the anti irish sentiment in a lot of places, I still think we fit in to the cosmic mess in our own way. People might not like us all the time, but I appreciate the soft spot that many people have for us.
Yeah people love the Irishness. it's fun connecting to anything from your past. That's why I study History! There used to be in some areas of the states, I think. Where else... yeah in England some people still don't like us. generalisation etc. my aunt went to work for the BBC and had to put on an english accent for her interview and throughout the time she worked there for fear of not being hired/getting fired.
The few Canadians I've met have been some of my favourite people in the world. Two amazing girls from Vancouver and another from Toronto. They're wonderful and I love them. In fact, one of them just spent a few days staying here with me! (along with a girl from New Zealand, another from Australia and another from Belgium. All of whom are equally remarkable humans)
Don't bother. We're not that great, If I'm being honest :/ I do, however, know an awesome group of girls from LA and San Fran in Uppsala. But yeah, irish guys can be sleazy and eager. But the fact that you're from a different country would be enough to bag one. Ireland thinks anything is exotic. Parsley is considered a spice, here. it's mental.
Oh god... Ireland has so much slang. As does everywhere... em... ok off the top of my head: - 'Well' - broad greeting - 'what's the craic' - 'criac' can mean many things but can really be translated as 'good time.' So 'what's the craic' would mean both 'what's going on?' or 'anything fun happening?' I could write a book on 'craic' - 'Gobshite' - idiot. - 'tit' - idiot - 'ride' - goolooking person or to have sex with.. - bollocks, of course.
I actually don't really know... there are just so many I'd have to have a conversation with some people and write them down!
Oh my... there are just so many it's insane. I really hate to fob off the question, but Wikipedia can sort you right out with that one.
Well taking one example, christmas. Being a predominantly Catholic country we tend to do christmas very very well. It's a huge cultural phenomenon and far beyond a christmas tree people like to put a lot of effort into it. My house, for example, was a winter wonderland this christmas as it is every year. I do love Irish christmas.
Gaelic football and Hurling are two of the biggest sports in the country that are very important on a county and small town scale. I love hurling a lot, but I can't stand gaelic football. So so so so so so boring.
Depending on your level of interest, we love our theatre, literature, music and comedy. We have various festivals all year round about the country dedicated to different things (e.g. bloomsday is dedicated to James Joyce. We have the Kilkenny Cat laughs festival which is a world famous comedy festival)the list really goes on.
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